Hey, look! A wild Shakespeare!

Hi guys. I'm not actually writing a post tonight. I'm letting Shakespeare have a try at writing a post. He's really excited (sitting next to me bouncing excited) and I make no promises about the goodness of what he's going write. I have stuff to do, so I'm going to set him loose on my blog. See you later, if he doesn't kill you first.

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Hi!!! I'm awesome! This is my special way of telling Katie that I pre ordered the Sims 3 pets for her, and she is going to get a random text when it comes into the store. So I decided I should warn her. I sort of hope she reads this.

So, anyway, how is everyone? I'm tired, which is bad because it's only nine o'clock and I shouldn't be sleepy yet.

I'm watching Rove LA, and I while I was watching, I made a graph that shows the awesomeness/hotness of celebrities compared to how much I know about them. I made it in excel, so I don't know how to move that across to here. If you can tell me how, I'll do it, and then you will be amazed at my awesome graph making skills.

So, I plan to make unicorns by breeding a horse and an echidna. Although that may just create a spiky horse. I'm trying not to make this sound like I'm making sex jokes, but it isn't working, is it?

I wish I could explain my hopeless blogging powers, but since I can't, I wrote a song.
 Check it out, I'm writing a blog!
 But I should go and feed my frogs.
 I hope and pray this doesn't suck too much,
 Because if it does, I'm totally fucked!
What do you think? I don't really have frogs, I just needed a rhyme for blog. If it's really awful, shoot me now, because Katie is going to kill me if I turn people off her blog.

I'm going to go before I make this worse. I might talk to you later. If I get good feed back, I'll get Katie to promote my blog. Night!

WATER FIGHT!

Did you enjoy Shakespeare's post the other day? I hope so. he is thinking about starting a blog, so he wants feed back. I'm thinking about letting him write a few posts here so he can get some feed back. If he does, will you comment? Anyway...

I had a water fight with Shakespeare today. I was going to spend all day on the internet playing zombie games. I woke up at 9 am, and I walked downstairs to get my laptop and saw Shakespeare sitting on my couch. He was all like 'let's have a water fight today!' and I was just like NO!

Let me explain my apartment. There are a whole bunch of young people living here because the old people who own the place let us have really cheap rent.

So, Shakespeare and I started having a water fight, and by the end, the whole building was playing too. Then I realised that I was late for going out to dinner with my parents, and I was soaking wet. So I called my parents and told them I was going to be late, then I decided I wanted to tell you guys about my best Sunday ever. So now I'm really late for dinner at my parents and I should probably go, but I'm not going to just yet because I wanted to tell you that Shakespeare is possibly going to post here later or tomorrow, depending on if I get any responses in the comments about him.

So, anyway... What was this post about? Either Shakespeare or I will post later. Probably when I get home from dinner to tell you all about my insane parents and my need for microwave popcorn.

BYE!

I have to cook!

Hi guys. I'm worried. How are you? Now this is sounding like a letter.

Shakespeare's parents hate me. I don't mean they don't like me because I stole their son or anything. They actively try to break us up and make me look like a fool. They dislike everything about me, and constantly comment on how Shakespeare 'could do so much better.' According to them, there are girls lining up at his door for a chance to date him. I wonder why I've never seen them.

I'm gong to be really honest with you. I'm surprised he's still speaking to me after spending a week with his parents (not including that little part after he got home. If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here.)

So, anyway, Shakespeare doesn't like his parents and I not talking. So he called his parents and invited them to dinner at my apartment. He only checked with me AFTER he invited them.

Now, I'm okay with meeting them for dinner. But I'm not okay with them coming to my house. They critique everything about me, and I don't want them in my house! One of us is likely to be thrown out the window. Now I'm only speaking to Shakespeare using a series of grunts. I can't be really mad at him, because he's only doing this because he wants me to NOT break his parents necks.

So I have to cook a normal meal for 4 normal people. I've mentioned before that I usually eat pizza, right? I can cook, but salmon is fucking difficult. And they want salmon. Because they're rich. I should give them salmonella. (You get salmonella from salmon, right?)

I plan to update about halfway through the night (they hate me already. They won't care) and when they leave. But I might not. If I don't, I'll send Shakespeare to inform you of which of his parents killed me.

So, I'll talk to you guys later. Probably.

Update: Hi everyone. William here.
Katie asked me to come and do this blog. Which is strange, because I thought she would want to rant about my parents. She is shouting instructions from the kitchen, where I think she's washing up. I'm going to warn you that I have never written a blog post before.

My parents left about 15 minutes ago. The following is a conversation the 4 of us had at the door. (Katie demands that I do this properly. M- mum, D-dad, K- katie and S- me.)

M- Well William, dear, thank you for inviting us to dinner. Even if the food was sub par.
K- What about me?! I cooked the food, and you were in my house!
M- Oh yes. Your apartment was barely big enough for all of us, and we had to eat on the sofa. The salmon was rather under cooked. Were you trying to poison us?
K- Yes. And we ate on the couch because I'm living on minimum wage. I do my best to pay rent, so please excuse me for not having a dining table.
S- Well, bye mum. Bye dad *shuts door*

So, even though that was a 3 minute conversation, I think it pretty much sums up the night. It was actually worse while we were having dinner. So now Katie is in the kitchen doing the dishes and mumbling about the horrible things she wants to do to my parents. I offered to help, but she asked me to do this instead. So, here I am, rambling now I think.

Katie will probably blog tomorrow. Until then, please don't judge her blog on my work here tonight. That wouldn't be fair.

Grrrrr...

Okay, so remember how Shakespeare was away? Well, he got back on Monday, and the reason I haven't blogged since then is because he told me I wasn't allowed to go on the internet until I cleaned up my apartment. This is the conversation that went down when he walked in to say hello.
S- Honey, I'm home!
K- *Excited*
S- You didn't clean up. :(
K- I meant to, but... POTTERMORE!
S- Really? I never ask you to do things for me, and this one time I wanted to come back from my holiday and see my girlfriend without being distracted by the mess, you're too busy.
K- You frequently ask me to do things! And this isn't your house!
S- Maybe I shouldn't visit then!
K- FINE!!! *Angry expression*
S- Alright. I'm not coming here again until you clean up! *Storms out of house, unplugs my internet connection and takes my modem*.
  So, now we're having a fight because he's a neat freak and I used my key to his house to get my modem back so that I can tell you guys what is going on and research stain removal. I'm really upset and SHAKESPEARE IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I'M STILL UPSET WITH YOU. That was too much capslock, I'm sorry. It probably hurt your eyes.

I haven't spoken to Shakespeare since then, and I'm sad. So I went onto I Can Has Cheezburger to cheer myself up and found these:

And they made me feel better, so I thought I'd share them with you. And then my cat gave me a hug because he could tell I was upset.

Hiya

Yo... Sorry I didn't update the other morning, but Shakespeare wanted me to go cycling with him again. I generally don't give him everything he wants like this, but he is so sweet when he's hyperactive.

He was hanging out with some friends today, so I decided I wanted to clean my apartment. I looked at my desk, and I chose to really quickly check my email. Then I saw that my welcome email from Pottermore had arrived, so I spent the rest of the day on that. If anyone wants to friend me (or what ever it is one does at hogwarts) I am RiverMahogany39

Anyway, I was going to do lots of exciting stuff and then tell you about it, but I got distracted, so here are some pictures of my cat, Umbreon. The first 2 are of him as a kitten. The third is current(ish)

Shakespeare's not taking his medicine.

Hi everyone... My title may not make any sense, so I'll do I quick introduction before I start.

Shakespeare is my boyfriend. I called him Shakespeare once when we met, then the name stuck. (If you want more than that, I might post the story later). Anyway, he has a medical condition that I can't spell... He is frequently on medication that contains a sedative. The sedative is weak, but, when he takes it several times a day, affects him quite powerfully.

His doctor recently said that he should take a break from the meds. He is going back on them on Monday, which can't come soon enough. He got used to being sedated, and now that he isn't anymore, he is TOTALLY hyperactive.

That took me an hour to write. Shakespeare keeps insisting he really needs to look stuff up (his words, not mine). He is with me because I was worried he was going to accidentally set fire to his house. He brought his laptop over and has been playing games at triple speed. I have to go to the super market, but I'm worried that he'll hurt himself while I'm out. I also don't what to take him with me, for obvious reasons. I also have to walk to the super market, whether I take him with me or not (I'm not letting him drive in his condition).

I promise to update as the night goes on.

Update: So, apparently Shakespeare was reading my blog on his laptop, not playing games. I know this because he read about how I needed to go to the super market. I hadn't told him because I knew that he would get all excited about it (which he did). This is a conversation Shakespeare and I had 5 minutes ago. (S=Shakespeare, K=Me)
S: You wanna go to the supermarket?
K: I don't need to go to the supermarket. *Nervous laugh*
S: You said you did on your blog! *Begins bouncing around the room like a rabbit* Come on! Get dress and let's go!
K:  But we'll have to walk there, and it's dark.
S: So? it'll be like an adventure! We can buy marshmallows and hot chocolate and cookies and popcorn and coffee and rent a movie and watch the movie. Then go CYCLING!
K: It's nearly midnight... I'll take you to the supermarket, but I draw the line at going cycling.
S: How about we ride the bikes to the supermarket?
K: *Deep sigh*
S: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!! *More bouncing*

So now I'm taking Shakespeare to the supermarket on bicycles and I won't have any money left to buy the stuff I need because he'll keep convincing me to buy stuff for him (or 'us' as he says). I have to go, Shakespeare I poking me on the shoulder and shouting in my ear that I have to get dressed unless I want to go in my pyjamas.

Another Update: Okay, so Shakespeare and I just got back from the Supermarket. I gave him $10 to spend, since he didn't have any money. I had no idea how much he could buy with that amount of money. We met outside the video store, and he was carrying 3 plastic bags full of stuff. It was scary. He bought hot chocolate, carob logs (because he was feeling sensitive... I can't eat chocolate/ coffee) 2 big packets of chips, mini marshmallows, mircowave popcorn, ANZAC biscuits and a variety of other things that I need not mention.

After he showed me EVERYTHING he had purchased, we went into the video store. We rented all 3 of the back to the future movies. We are watching number 1 ATM. I will update once more tomorrow morning, I promise.