I have to cook!

Hi guys. I'm worried. How are you? Now this is sounding like a letter.

Shakespeare's parents hate me. I don't mean they don't like me because I stole their son or anything. They actively try to break us up and make me look like a fool. They dislike everything about me, and constantly comment on how Shakespeare 'could do so much better.' According to them, there are girls lining up at his door for a chance to date him. I wonder why I've never seen them.

I'm gong to be really honest with you. I'm surprised he's still speaking to me after spending a week with his parents (not including that little part after he got home. If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here.)

So, anyway, Shakespeare doesn't like his parents and I not talking. So he called his parents and invited them to dinner at my apartment. He only checked with me AFTER he invited them.

Now, I'm okay with meeting them for dinner. But I'm not okay with them coming to my house. They critique everything about me, and I don't want them in my house! One of us is likely to be thrown out the window. Now I'm only speaking to Shakespeare using a series of grunts. I can't be really mad at him, because he's only doing this because he wants me to NOT break his parents necks.

So I have to cook a normal meal for 4 normal people. I've mentioned before that I usually eat pizza, right? I can cook, but salmon is fucking difficult. And they want salmon. Because they're rich. I should give them salmonella. (You get salmonella from salmon, right?)

I plan to update about halfway through the night (they hate me already. They won't care) and when they leave. But I might not. If I don't, I'll send Shakespeare to inform you of which of his parents killed me.

So, I'll talk to you guys later. Probably.

Update: Hi everyone. William here.
Katie asked me to come and do this blog. Which is strange, because I thought she would want to rant about my parents. She is shouting instructions from the kitchen, where I think she's washing up. I'm going to warn you that I have never written a blog post before.

My parents left about 15 minutes ago. The following is a conversation the 4 of us had at the door. (Katie demands that I do this properly. M- mum, D-dad, K- katie and S- me.)

M- Well William, dear, thank you for inviting us to dinner. Even if the food was sub par.
K- What about me?! I cooked the food, and you were in my house!
M- Oh yes. Your apartment was barely big enough for all of us, and we had to eat on the sofa. The salmon was rather under cooked. Were you trying to poison us?
K- Yes. And we ate on the couch because I'm living on minimum wage. I do my best to pay rent, so please excuse me for not having a dining table.
S- Well, bye mum. Bye dad *shuts door*

So, even though that was a 3 minute conversation, I think it pretty much sums up the night. It was actually worse while we were having dinner. So now Katie is in the kitchen doing the dishes and mumbling about the horrible things she wants to do to my parents. I offered to help, but she asked me to do this instead. So, here I am, rambling now I think.

Katie will probably blog tomorrow. Until then, please don't judge her blog on my work here tonight. That wouldn't be fair.

Pizza & Bronchitis

I have figured out that you guys don't actually exist, but thats okay. I'm happy just talking to myself and advertising where I can until there are people out there.

Anyway, I realised today that I eat WAY too much pizza. I do my shopping on Sunday, and my groceries usually consist of 7 prepackaged pizzas, two 2 litre tubs of English toffee ice-cream, a box of cereal, 3 bottles of caffeine-free pepsi, and 6 packets of lollies. I have pizza for dinner, then ice-cream for dessert. Lunch the next day, I have pizza leftover. It continues like this until I fall into and endless cycle of meatlovers and frozen dessert.

But, this may not make much sense. I was just talking the other day about choosing a university, but I'm doing my own shopping? I took a gap year between high school and uni so I could get some 'life experience'. So, I moved away from home, bought an apartment etc.

I also have bronchitis... Its like the flu (for me, anyway) but with a nagging, horrible cough. I have been curled up on my couch for 10 days watching my Doctor Who DVDs. Pair that with my inability to drive and my lack of bus money, and you have someone walking down the street trying to cough up her lungs. I had someone pull over and ask me if I needed to go to hospital. I tried to reply through my coughing, but they took me to hospital anyway (for some reason, they couldn't understand me). So now, in addition to antibiotics, I am now on a strong cough suppressant that completely knocks me out. So, I'm going to go to bed before I fall asleep on the couch.