What the fuck, America?

Today I heard about this restaurant called Outback steak house. They serve "Australian" food.

This is bullshit. I looked on their website and browsed their menu. It is wrong. Sure, it's hard to fuck up a steak. But the rest, especially their specialty menu, is not Aussie at all.

Here is a list of things I found the least Australian.

"Grilled Shrimp on the Barbie": This is so stereotypically Australia. If they wanted it to be authentic, at least make it Prawns. 

"Bloomin' Onions": If you want classically Aussie onions, caramelise them on a barbecue and serve them with sausages. Deep frying them is so American.

"Alice Springs Chicken Quesadillas": Why advertise them as "Alice Springs"? I can't see anything in the ingredients that would make these specifically "alice springs".

"Aussie Cheese Fries": Only one real issue with these. They're served with Ranch Dressing. Not Aussie.

"Baby Back Ribs": Just... No.

"Grilled Chicken on the Barbie": Okay. Wood-fired does not equal barbecued. Neither does bbq sauce. This happens a lot in their menu, but this is the first one, so I'm only gonna list this, instead of every single one.

"New Zealand Lamb": Get out.

"Filet & Lobster Tail": We don't actually cook a whole lot of "specialty" steaks here. We mostly eat filet in restaurants. The lobster isn't bad, but it isn't every day food, and it's in like the next 6 menu items.

"Hearts of Gold Mahi": What the fuck kind of fish is Mahi?

"Chocolate Thunder from Downunder": This is a brownie. It's not that we don't have them here, but we (at least, I) think of them as an American baked item.

"Classic Cheesecake": Why is this a New-York style cheesecake?! We HAVE cheesecake here.

"Asian Sesame Salad": Getting your continents mixed up.

"Cake pops": WHAT.

"Classic Cheeseburger": The worst part about this is that one of the cheese options is American. We don't call it American cheese here. It's just processed cheese.

"Turf and Surf": The tagline is "here, we say surf and turf backwards". I don't know about the rest of Australia, but where I come from, we call it surf and turf. It sounds better.

Now, I'll make some menu suggestions. Feel free to make your own in the comments!

Lamingtons: A classic Aussie dessert. How is this NOT on the menu.

Chicken Parma: Not technically Australian, but just try to go into a pub and not see chicken parma on the menu.

Fair-Dinkum Fridays: They have "No Worries Wednesday". Fair-Dinkum is much Aussier.

T-Bone, Rump & Eye fillet Steaks: These are my go to steaks, the ones I think of when I think steak.

Anyway, I thought I'd share the outrage with my fellow aussies, and educate my american friends. Bye Now!

Help Stop the New South Wales Bushfires

This year, Australia is getting a head start on it's bushfires.

In New South Wales, bushfires are raging across the state. There have been stories about Sydney (NSW's capital city) being surrounded by smoke. 1000's of people have lost their homes, and many have died.

In this time of need, the Australian Red Cross gathers it's team of volunteers to help people in bushfire affected areas. They are currently asking for donations to help people find safe places to stay, feed and clothe people who have lost everything, and eventually help to rebuild.

So, I'm asking you, my trusty followers, to donate. There are two possible ways to donate. One, you can go to the Red Cross Website and donate directly, or, as I don't know their policy on international donations, click the donate button on my blog. That will send the donation on to my personal paypal, and I will send it on (I suggest you try the former option first, but as many of my readers are international, I thought I would include a backup option).

My thoughts go out to all of the people affected by the fires, and all the volunteers (red cross, CFA, and others) who are risking their lives to help people in need.

100 posts!

This was my 100th blog post. It was a bit anticlimactic. So I'm redoing it, here, today!

HAPPY 100 POSTS, MY RIDICULOUS LIFE!

Yes, I'm in my pyjamas. Deal with it!

Yippee, 100 posts. Technically, 104.

Holy shit, new store stuff!

There's a new Halloween Jerry theme in the store! You should all go check it out. I'll be removing the Halloween Jerry on the 1st of November, at which time I'll put up the Christmas designs I have in the works.

The phone cases are a bit over priced, but the note cards are adorable! I want some for my halloween invitations (but then, I did make them). You should go check it out!

They're actually not up on the site yet, but as soon as they are (likely tomorrow) I'll post a link here and on the store page. I am excite!

SayCoconuts triumphant return to blogging!

Look at me! I'm back, and better than ever!

I've gotten a new wireless modem, which means I can internet from my bed again, so I'm back, permanently.

Lots of stuff to talk about, so I might as well get started.

Today I came home from work to find flowers. The card said "the imperfections are what make the vase unique and beautiful". No idea who they could be from... Although the fact that it's a line from one of Shakespeare's poems (unpublished) gives me a vague idea. So now I'm a bit depressed. *Sigh*

Honestly, that actually all I feel about saying now. I'll be funny tomorrow.

Dating is a butt.

Dating is stupid. I had forgotten that. Unfortunately, I have now been brutally reminded. Shakespeare, however, is not having nearly as much trouble winning the dating game as I am. But I'm here to talk about me, not him.

Dating is evil. I've been on about 20 dates since I've been single. It's not that they're terrible, it's just that I have two guys in my life who I compare all other guys to. Jae and Shakespeare. These various dates have yet to live up to either of those guys. 

Speaking of Jae, he's been my rock (excuse the cliché). My brother moved in with him :) and he has a new girlfriend now. Before the current girlfriend, there was Anna, who hated me. So, Jae threw her out of a plane. Not really, but it would've been awesome if he had. 

Anyway, bloop. 

Any one interested?

I'm interested in starting online English tutoring. Rates undecided, but fairly cheap. A+ student through to year 12, tutoring for years 7-10. Email me if you're interested :)